Description
Track Listing
69 Tales Of Middle Earth CS
The Electricity In The Air Before A Good Siege
Larping At The Blind Guardian Concert
Orc Blade Plunged Deep Into Elvin Flesh
Gollum Was A Crack Baby
The Witch That Lives In The Trees
The Water Temple Can Suck My Ass
Crowdfunding To Buy Myself Chainmail
Drawn And Quartered Varg Finally Dies
Going For A Hike And Finding A Black Metal Promo Shoot
Cursed Dagger Of Lee-Hon-Tuc
My Blade, My Honor, My Suffrage
Thine Torch Igniting The Ceremonial Fireworks
M'Lord Is Medieval For Daddy
I Got Roasted By A Guy Wearing A Fedora At A Ren Fair
Masturbating To The Elves In Skyrim
Smallsword // Smallerdick
Lack Of Basic Hygiene Doesn't Make You A Viking
Stabbing The Winner Of Varg's Tabletop R.P.G.
Calling Your Mother's Basement Your Dungeon
Sexual Fantasy Involving An Orc And A Dwarf
Frolicking Naked In The Trees Because You're A Wizard
Frolicking Naked In The Trees Because You're A Wizard
Ishan Before He Thought He Was In Dream Theater
Mayhem: A Career Made On Two Corpses
Bigsword //Mircoscopicpenis
That Feel When Good Siege
I Liked Harry Potter Better When He Was In Troll
Using Black Magic To Get Myself A Date
Leading The Charge
Into The Mines Of Moria
I Live In A Hut In The Woods With Ildjarn
I Can't Wait For The Lords Of Noisecore To Put A Hit Out On Me
Using Flash During A Black Metal Show To Ruin The Ambiance
Wolves In The Throne Room Are A Bunch Of Fucking Nerds
I'm From Texas, I Don't Know What Winter Is
You Smell Like An MMO Player
It's Not Caps Lock, IT'S KVLT LOCK, DIPSHIT!!!
I Was Born In The Wrong Time, I Want To Lead A Crusade
Leading A Medieval Campain To 711 For Mountain Dew
Beating Up Nerds Outside Of A Kamelot Concert
Dungeon Synth, Trve Incel Music
Graveland's Instagram Sharing Star Wars Memes
Rob Darken Looks Like My Grandma
Getting Lyrical Themes From Runescape
Ildjarn Is A School Teacher
Mortiis Looks Like A Digimon
Cave Dwelling Dungeon Synth Fan
The Trees Tell Me Many Things, Like Where To Score PCP
This Rock In The Forest Looks Like A Member Of A Boston Punk Band
Chainmail Protects Me From Blades, But Not Your Insults
Bringing A Sword To A Punk Show To Scare Poseurs
Dear Knight I Commend Thine Skullet
Eating From Yee Olde Pizza Carte
Forgotten Forest Path Leading To A Meth Lab
Spell Book Containing A Couple Of Spells
Satan Is M'Lord
Hanging Out With My Fellow Incels At The Iced Earth Concert
Christopher Lee's Power Metal Band
Drunkenly Slogging Around Demanding People Drink Your Potion
My Dear, Sweet, Combat Alchemist
The Power Of The Full Moon Charging My Boner
My Huge, Heathen, Maypole
I Am A Wizard And My Magic Is Meth
I Work At Medieval Times To Get Drunk On Mead
Peasants Who Think Burzum Is Good
Nobles That Know Ildjarn Is Truth
Going From Punk To Pissing Cave Dweller
True Crime Songs Are Fucking Stupid
Faust From Emperor Is Free To Kill Again
That Guy From Anal Cunt Neither Feared Or Respected That Escalator Single
That Guy From Anal Cunt Neither Feared Or Respected That Escalator
45 Songs Of Friendship EP
Intro (Into The Pantheon Of Friendship)
My Friend Nick Is The Textbook Definition Gentile Giant And Is A Very Good Boy
Joseph Is A Very Patient Person Who Writes Very Good Music
My Friend Ryan, Beat Me For An Art Scholarship, Because He's A Better Artist Than Me
My Friend Libby, The Motorcycle Mom To All The Young Punks
Danny From Austin Who Told Me I'm His P. White To His Billy Quizboy
Danni Who Does Really Good Tattoos, Like The Mace On My Arm
My Friend Life, Who Likes War Metal And Is Going To Beauty School
My Friend Blake Who Once Demanded I Stop In A Town Called Cumming
My Friend Wad Who Once Helped Me Make Knifechucks
Texas Mike, Who Doesn't Live In Texas, But Loudly Tells Me He Loves Me
I Have A Friend Named Liam Who Makes Black Metal And People Call Him Piss
My Friend Erica Who Makes Really Cool Art And Screams A Lot
My Friend Alican Who Is The Smartest Idiot I Know
My Friend Emma, Who Is Going To Make A Pornogrind Band About Killing Incels
My Friend Lauren, A Smolbean Who Shreds The Bass
My Friend Hodge, Who Plays Drums Very Good And Very Calmly
Reese, Or Ross, Who Plays Scape And Fronts A Death Metal Band
My Friend Donovan Is A Gear Encyclopedia And A Very Good Boy
My Friend Kimberly, Noisecore Queen
Dunny, The Cave Dwelling Dungeon Synth Man Who Is Very Handsome
My Friend Joose Who Is Really Funny
Slade, A Very, Very Nice Boy Who Plays Powerviolence
Todd, Another, Very, Very Nice Boy Who Plays Powerviolence
Allin Who Left America To Study Something They Really Enjoy Writes Really Cool Music
My Friend Derik Is A Hobbit And A Good Boy
My Friend Larry, A Part Time Weeb, Full Time Small Business Owner
My Friend Gus Who Is Way Tougher Than I Will Ever Be
My Friend Hannah Costillo Who Takes Pictures Really Good
My Friends Ian, Olivia, Jordan And Gabe Are All Very Nice And Have A Great Band Named Warm Bodies
My Friend Billy Who Is My Twin And Has A Really Good Band Named Bib
Rocha, Who Makes Scary Music But Has A Heart Of Gold
Uncle Rob, Who Is An Absolute Treasure
I Have A Friend Named Taylor Vinson Who Is Really Funny, But Ate At A Texas In N Out
My Friend Caroline Is The Reason I'm In This Stupid Shit And Alive
Jake Garlick, He Plays Nasty Guitar Really Good And He Can Skate
Simon Who Watches Very Well Made Movies And Plays Drums Very Well
My Friend Erica Salazar Who I Miss But I'm Hoping Is Doing Well In Seattle
My Friend Savannah Has A Cool Job Working For People Who Book Cool Shows
My Friend Jackson "Burnout" Boyd And I Once Went On A Goregrind Date
Andy, Sometimes Billy, Is A Hurricane And A Good Boy
My Friend Parker Puts Themselves Down A Lot Despite How Talented They Are
My Friend Carroll, The Lone Cowpunk And A Good Fishing Guide
My Friend Sam Claims She's Very Jarring But Is A Very Nice Person
Outro (The Gates Of Friendship)
Thieves Of Sunshine EP
Thieves Of Sunshine (Lethal Enforcers Of The Night)
Suicide Involving A Noose Made Of Piano Wire, Gorilla Gluing My Hands To Head And Yelling How FUCKING MAD I AM
Fucking Weeb Scum Who Blast NSBM Nightcore Covers While Spanking It To Hentai
Rotten, Stinking, Cannibalistic, Gorenoise EP
How Do You Like My Carcass Rip-off Art For My Gorenoise Ep?
Andre Chicatilo Was A Sick Fuck Who Ate His Victim's Genitals
Alferd Packer Is Having A Schpadoinkle Day In Hell For Eating 5 Of His Companions In The Mountains
I Sure Do Love Roadside Barbeque In Texas, Especially When Its Made Out Of People
Trying To Make Zombie Sex Slaves By Drilling Into Their Brains
Cannibal Corpse Subliminally Convinced Me To Eat My Friend's Brain, It Wasn't As Good As They Said It Would
East Bound And Down To Hell: The Words Of The Venerated Texas Mike Pt 1
William, I Have But One Setting And It Is Go
I'm Going To Dig Up John Lennon's Abuser Corpse And Show It The Abuse It Deserves
Bring John Lennon Back To Life So I Can Kill Him Again
What Rich People Google: How Many Pounds Of Truffle Can I Fit Into My Ass
Yesterday When I Was In The Shower, I Cupped My Hands, And Peed Into Them. I Sat There Holding 8 Ounces Of My Own Pee
I Looked At It, Felt Its Warmth, And Then Unclasped My Hands As I Watch The Golden Liquid Flow Down The Drain
I Thought What If... What If I Would Have Drank That Pee?
Gold Is The Colour Of Gold But Also "Pee Pee"
Six Dudes Hanging Around A Car With The Hood Up... Ain't Nothin' Better
Ah... A Nice Glass Of Piss
Aw, Pikachu Shat On The Carpet Again!
Can't Wait For The Future And Mail Order Lsd
Need To Make Some Quick $$$... If You Are Interested In Purchasing An Old Wall In China Hmu
Youtube Channel That Only Uploads Off-brand Battery Reviews
Sorry Tim Heidecker But It's Time For The Real King Of Comedy To Take Back The Throne... Jeff Foxworthy!!!!
Tim Heidecker Vs Me, Trapped In A Restaurants Kitchen While A Grease Fire Burns Out Of Control
Tim Heidecker: Your Days Are Numbered, My Man!
3 Hour Ted Talk Hosted By Yours Truly Where I Just Make Mouth Noises
Drawing Dicks In The UPS Signature Field
I Think Jethro Tull Would Be Interesting Opponents In A Fight
Petition: Replace The Faces Of Those Guys On Mt Rushmore With The Freebird Lyrics
I Smoked The Government Weed And I Can't Sleep, I Can't Stop Thinking About Mars!
100 Likes And I Will Get A Crucified Skinhead Tattoo
A Video Game Where You Play As Steve Buscemi
Taco Bell Sponsorship
Larry David Sex Tape
Crucified Skinhead But It's Gumby
Mark Zuckerberg Has A Controlling Share In Youth Attack Records
Who Up I Got A Box Of Dr Pepper
Had A Dream I Met An NFL Player And I Begged Him To Kill Me
I Miss Texas And I Miss Sweet Tea
Adam Sandler But With A British Accent
Spiderman's Balls
Cowboy God Has Made A Decision... Pineapple Must Remain On Pizza
Take It Easy By The Eagles
Repent You Sinners And Become COWBOY
God Is Returning In Half Of An Hour... Cowboy God
I'd Like To Have A Cage Match With Alton Brown
Double Click Here To See Magic
Just Walked Up To Cale Weir In Public, He Was High And Listening To Tiger Army
Ask Me About Burst Pipes
Mass Sterilization Caused By Poopoo And Peepee
My Idea Of Heaven Would Be Listening To Country And Western Music With My Gpa Forevr
Subway Sandwiches Buffet
A Pizza Place Run By Skinheads
I'm Gonna Kick Your Ass (I'm Lifting Weights As I Post This)
Martial Artists Breaking Planks But The Planks Are Replaced With Casio Keyboards
A Cap With A Hole For People To Show Off Their Bald Spots
All Bald People Are Skinheads
I Wonder What Pisspiggranddad Is Doing Right Now
A Vegetable Called Jetpack
Has Anyone Made Pillows That Look Like Butts Yet
Two Nude Musclebound Men Chasing Each Other Around A Junkyard Shooting Each Other With Dollar Store Water Guns
I Need To Clone Myself Five Times So I Can Fulfil My Dream Of Owning And Operating A Chain Of 6 24/7 Gas Stations
Pumping Iron To The Sopranos Theme Song
I Am Hungover And I Am Fucking Manic
Last Night I Got Banned From Metro (The Supermarket) For Opening And Eating Three Cans Of Cold Staggs Chili In The Store
If I Shit My Pants Would My Boss Let Me Go Home Early
Last Night God Came To Me In The Form Of Liam And He Said "Wanan Maybe Hanmg Out"
Tom Cruise Is The Shadow President And A Member Of The Deep State
Welcome To My Shop Where I Sell Fresh Sweet Corn And New Video Game Releases
"Cro Mags Full Album" Tatted Across My Stomach A La "Thug Life"
Nike Sneakers In Camo Making Me Really Horny
Woke Up With The Fresh Smell Of A Hoagie Near By And A Morning Has Never Been So Complete For Me
I Just Wanna Noodle Catfish And Shit In An Outhouse
Gonna Open Up An Eyebrow Place Called "The Big Lebrowski"
Who Else Is Soaked And Sitting In A Leather Chair At Work
9/11 Truther In The Streets, Infowarrior In The Sheets
Bust Three Nuts Today: Two For The Towers, One For The Pentagon
Incel Exterminator
This Divine Blade Gifted To Me From The Goddess, Liliana, Will Protect My Virginity At All Costs
That Guy From Anal Cunt Neither Feared Or Respected That Escalator
The Harsh Stench Of Mountain Dew On The Incel's Breath
I Can't Wait For Jerkbooth To Make Fun Of Me Again
Billy From Omaha Is A Very Good Boy
Waylen Jennings Is Better Than Any Of Your Dumb Ass N.Y.H.C. Clone Bands
I Had To Find A Virgin To Sacrifice, So At The Stroke Of Midnight I Raided The Local Gamestop
I Don't Know If This Morning's Taco Bell Diarrhea Sounded More Like Carcass Or Impetigo Vocals
Spay Or Neuter Your Retro-thrasher Today
Dream Theater Concert, Aka Incel Pride 2018
Twister Is The Best Movie Ever Written, If You Disagree You're Fucking Stupid
Brogaze Played By The Chillest Of Brogazers
That Time I Convinced Some Bros That A.C.A.B. Means A Chill Ass Bro
Claiming Your Identity Is Asexual When You're Just An Incel
Remember When You Said Punk Would Be Great Again Under Trump? You Lied To Me.
The Deep And Eldritch Sorcery That Will Befall You If You Dare Call Me Fag Again
Only The Trvest Of Satanists Set Up Their Dungeons In Their Mom's Garage
I'm Just An Ugly Homo (Who Plays In A Noisecore Band)
Glen Benton Pussied Out Of Killing Himself
I'd Rather Listen To Dream Theater Than Another Band That Sounds Like Fucking Gag
Using Arcane Necromancy To Revive Cliff Burton To Finally Solve The Lars Problem
The Hardest Part Of Being A Dungeon Synth Fan Was Telling My Parents That I'm A Gay Goblin
Antichrist Kramer Is Going To Fight Neckbeard Deathcamp
I Showed You My Youth Attack Collection, Please Respond
My Friend Bald Larry Plays D&D, Listens To Power Metal And Still Goes On More Dates Than Me
My First Band, FxCxPx, Was An Abomination Before God And A Failure
The Beautiful, Cold Winter Night That Froze My Balls Off And Made Me A Eunuch
Magic The Gathering Of The Juggalos
Satan Is M’Lord II: Daddy Krampus
I Liked Dave Mustaine Better When He Was On Heroin
I Will Die Upon The True Altars Of Madness, Cici's Pizza, As My Body Dissolves From The Grease
Chanting "Make Him Cum" During The Witching Hour Only Summoned A Cop To Issue Us A Noise Complaint
Long Sleeved, Four Sided Dream Theater Awake Shirt To Attract All The Prog Babes
Razorbumps Is Playing Cochella; Thats The Joke
Unreleased Tracks From A Failed Tape
I'm Glad Denton Free Jazz Musicicans Fucking Hate Me Now
If I Wanted To Watch Some Dude Jerk It For 20 Minutes I'd Use Chatroulette Instead Of Going To The Skronk Show
I'm Glad Jesus Chris & The Beatles Broke Up
Cleric Got Sponsored By Hair Care Products
Oh God Fucking Dammit Not Another Band With Parker Lawson In It
Flat Earth Guy Is The True Hero Of North Texas
Creeping Death Will Never Be A Real Death Metal Band Until They Cover Good Sepultura
Burning An Anal Cunt Tape Upon The Altar Of Homosexuality As An Offering To The Lords Of Noisecore
Infernal Legions Of Mordor Is CANCELLED!!!
One Dead Hobbit
Dead Hobbit 1
Dead Hobbit 2
Dead Hobbit 3
Dead Hobbit 4
Dead Hobbit 5
Dead Hobbit 6
Dead Hobbit 7
Dead Hobbit 8
Dead Hobbit 9
Message From Mayor Joose Banks 1
Dead Hobbit 10
Dead Hobbit 11
Dead Hobbit 12
Dead Hobbit 13
Dead Hobbit 14
Dead Hobbit 15
Dead Hobbit 16
Message From Mayor Joose Banks 2
Just Another Day Of My Meat Coffin Rotting On This Punishment Orb
Just Another Day Of My Meat Coffin Rotting On This Punishment Orb
Defenders Of The Basement
6669 Songs About How I Wanna Fight James Labrie
Big Iron (Marty Robbins Cover)
Big Iron (Marty Robbins Cover)
Two Years Of Darkness And Depravity
Lodged In The Throat, Disintegrated, Regurgitated
The Daylight Really Makes You Notice The Blood & Feces
Exiled From The Kingdom: Isolated For The Good Of The Land
Introduction: Will It Scrobble?
Charles Fucking Knowles
Skronk Sucks
I'm Essential
Playing A Wrathful God In Sims 4
Essential Run To The Grocery Store For The New Flavor Of Mountain Dew
We're All Shitposters Now
Shooting Artsy Nudes On Cinestill 800 Because You're A Fucking Dumb Ass
We Totally Won The Battle Set With Two Knights
Too Punk For The Noise Crowd, Too Noise For The Punks
From Top Fan To Band Member; The Rhys Johnson Story
Simon
Crankin' Hog
Using Longmont Potion Castle Threats On Telemarketers
April 2020, Far From The Vibe We Thought 4/20 Would Be
You Do Not Need An AR-15 You Dumb Sack Of Fuck
Beefy Five Layer Burrito, No Beans, Grilled, Add Nacho Fries
Hey Fuck You, Fuck You Rei Clone
Cici's Delivers Now
Tom Nook Is The Only Good Capitalist
Comin' On Down There With My Bull Whip And Goin' Wha-pah!!
Morbid Angel And Bolt Thrower Are Fucking Boring
I May Be Ugly, But I Own A Carved Cross Demo You Fucking Peasant
Remember When We Were A Meme Page?
Imran Being Late
Busting A Depression Nut Just To Feel Something
Why, Yes, I Do Have Plenty Of Shit-Tickets
Being A Sword Guy Is A Personality Right?
Where Is Texas Mike Now When We Need Him The Most???
Shaving Your Head Is A Side Effect Of COVID-19
The Band Called Upsetting. That's The Joke.
One Of The Owners Of Freaks & Geeks Made An Infernal Legions Of Mordor Shirt In Animal Crossing
Yeah, I Watch Anime, But I'm Not A Fucking Weeb Like Rei Clone
Simon II: Simon Liked Your Post
Amos From Tenement Likes Raising Caine's & Aerosmith
Give Me Back Recycled! You Can Have Lsa! Just Give Me Back Recycled!!!
We're A Hot, Discogs Flipping Commodity Now
A Joke About The Dog Episode Of Fullmetal Alchemist
A Rei Clone Sucks Joke
A Song About How The Oil Spill EP Slaps And How Rei Clone Still Sucks
I Survived The Days Of Egg Punk For This???
Unbelievably Unhorny
Jazz Fusion Assbeaters By The Band Called King Crimson
Broke Panic Buying; Toilet Paper. Woke Panic Buying; A Pound Of Carne Asada
Finally Learning Magik To Curse Charles Fucking Knowles
Idk What My Favorite Denton Cryptid Is; Miles From Two Knights Or Honorable Mayor, Joose Banks
Name Your First Release Something Other Than Demo You Dumb Ass
Gimme Yer Teeth
Simon III: When Will He Post His July 4th Pics?
Because, Life Without Class, Isn't Life Worth Living
I Was A Teenage American Picker
Heaven En Esparta
Brainbombs Nightcore
I'm Quarantined So I Don't Nuke Rei Clone's Ass
Veteran Of The Shit-Ticket Wars
One Million Dead Oogles (Snob Cover)
Cowboy Night
Lawful Cannibalism
Eating The Rich Is Vegan
1984 Jeep Honcho
Revoking Top Fan Badges Of Fucking Losers On The Infernal Legions Facebook
I Must Shit, But I Have No Ass
Some Might Say I Have Too Much Ass
April April Its Fucking April
I Just Lost The Game
Ihsahn Wearing A Turtleneck Sweater
We Are The Premiere Gorenoise Band From Denton
Why Should I Get Bummed That People Who Enjoy 100 Gecs Don't Like Me, They've Shown Their Lack Of Taste
Hey, You Missed Our Set
Foul Sounds Of The Wretched Night: Live 2-29-20
Introduction: A Warm And Erect Genitalia
Aggressive Rock
I'm Really Glad Seth Putnam Is Dead
Cave Dwelling Dungeon Synth Fan
Cranking Hog In Rhythm With Fragile By Yes
Oh Good God He's In A Floyd Hole!!!!
Out Of The Depths Of The Toilet
Nice Gatecreeper Shirt You Stupid Fucking Poser
Razorbumps Played Coachella, Thats The Joke / Outro
CBN / Infernal Legions Of Mordor Split
Introduction; The Calm And Ethereal Morning. The Time Before The Carnage
The First Arrow Flies At The Crack Of Dawn
The Coppery Taste Of Blood After The First Kill
Blade Plunged Deep Into Yielding Flesh
666 Dead Cultists
Pile Of Dead Bodies Arranged In A Blasphemous Manner
Sacrifice Under The Perfectly Aligned Stars
A Siege Lasting 6 Days And 9 Hours
Standing Atop A Pile Of My Dead Enemies
Blade Forged Specifically To Kill
Gutting The Foul Orc Who Killed My Brother
A Cave Full Of Kobolds
Another Cave To Forge Potions Within
Malevolent Floating Skeleton
Ancient Evil Rising From Its Crypt
A Coven Of Witches Harvesting Vampyric Fluids
What Do You Have To Barter With?
Little Gremlin That Is Hard To Keep Track Of
Cursed By The Shining Wizard
A Dark Night To Perform Arcane Sorcery Under
Sounds Of Their Screams Mingled With The Burning Of The Land
Kingdom Uprooted From Its Home
Under A Malediction Of An Ancient Warlock
Crazed, Bloodthirsty Troll Rises Above The Hill
Death Will Come To All The False
Effigy Made From Human Sacrifices
A River Of Blood Runs Free
Final Spell Cast As The Evil Wizard Is Slain
Recharging My Crystals
Under The Highest Arc Of The Eclipse The Sacrifice Begins
Mating Call Of The Blood Orc
Ode To The Fallen Warrior
Rusty Blade Found In The Bottom Of A Lake
Beheading The Tyrant King
Intermission: Counting The Dead Before The Second Wave Surges
A Cloak Made From The Scalps Of Those Whose Lives My Blade Extinguished
Severed Head Babbling The Final Incantations
The Hill I Will Die Upon
As The Fog Lifts, I See The Unholy Hordes Advancing
Teleported To The Land Of The Dead
Hovering Lifeless, The Corpse Speaks In The Language Of The Old Ones
Entering The Husk Of The Giant To Consume It's Heart
Legions Of The Night
Magik Cloak Concealing The Sacrificial Dagger
13 Black Candles Arranged In An Array
Blood Alchemy
Ritual Committed At The Top Of A Mountain
The Finest Steel Made By Blood Elves
Following The Light Of The Stars
Flail Crashing Through The Skull Of An Orc
Fiery Pentagram Beckoning
Solitude In My Fortress
Human Flesh Sopping Beneath My Feet
The Haunted Remains Of An Ancient Castle
Deep Within The Catacombs Of Div-e Sepid
Hunted By The Captives Of The Devilwitch
Sword Encased In Stone Carrying An Ancient Curse
That Which Lurks Within The Waters
The Winds Softly Sings It's Carrion Tune
Red Glow Of The Eldritch Sunrise, The Last Thing I Will See
Her Shield, Forever Stained Crimson
Malevolent Forces At Work
Hooded Figures, Lying Dead Inside Of A Scorched Circle
The Grave Comes For Us All
Petrified By The Rising Sun
Foul Potion Filled With The Morning Dew From The Northside Of A Mountain
Teleporting To A New Location To Launch A Subsequent Spell
Holy Shit I Can't Believe We Got CBN To Do A Split With Us
Conclusion: Light Pollution From Funeral Pyres On Low Hanging Clouds As The Storm Gathers
311 Bygone Tales From The Realm Of Sauron
Introduction: The Disgusting Stench Of Burning Feces That Is Being Prepared To Be Catapulted Into The Castle As The Siege Commences
I Own Guns To Protect Myself From Code Orange Fans
Q Did 3/11
I'm Gonna Fight Lars Ulrich
Dfw Metal Mayhem Is Mad I Made Fun Of D&D, So I'm Gonna Do It Again (D&D Is Dumb)
The Fountain Is A Really, Really, Really Bad Movie
Straight Edge Hardcore Dudes Harm Women And Everyone Ignores It So They Can Keep Playing Mediocre Guitar Riffs
My Favorite Part Of Punk Is The Only Time I Hear From My "Friends" Is When They Want Something From Me
God Forbid, Hardcore Kids Do Anything Aside From Hardcore! What Posers!
Colton From Reanimated Miscarriage Is Going To Come To Texas And Fight Me
How Can I Be A Narcissist When I Look Like This
I Asked If My T-bell Diarrhea Sounded Like Carcass Or Impetigo Vocals, When It Was Closer To Demilich Vocals
Balding And Fucked
My Life Hasn't Been The Same Since I Got A Gandalf Hat
I'm Gonna Fight Gene Simmons
This Years Tornado Season Will Be The Midwest's Punishment For Egg Punk
Sacrifice Lumpy If You Want To Avert This
Take The Time By Dream Theater
My Dangly Earring Is A Personality Trait Right?
What Is This Venue's Sword Policy?
Dallas Metal Dudes And Their Collective Poop Fetish (The Ballad Of Eatin' Like A Big Fella)
Face It, You're In An Egg Punk Band
If I Wanted An Angry Italian Man To Yell At Me, I Would Go To A Sub Shop Instead Of The Hank Wood Show
Where Does Target Keep Their Noise Tables?
Punk Time Is Dead And It Is Buried In My Back Yard
Being Gaslit For My Hatred Of Raising Caines
Goatmoon Is Just Racist Wintersun
Opeth Is What Would Happen If You Made A Heavy Metal Harry Potter And Also Bad
Unprecedented Levels Of Dipshittery
Infernal Legions Of Mordor, The Pawn Stars Of Noisecore
I'm Gonna Fight Jimmy From Youtube
Playing Hacked Up For Barbeque By Mortician Is Work Appropriate, Right?
I Payed A Guy At A Ren Faire To Roast My Hobbit And Now My Hobbit Won't Go To The Ren Faire
Support Local Business, Especially When They Allow Me To Bring My Sword In
That Guy From Blood Incantation Looks Like A Scifi Writer Driven Insane By The World He's Created
How Many Times Will Bone Sickness Follow And Unfollow Me On Instagram
My Combat Alchemist In The Parking Lot Of An Egg Punk Fest Expelling A Bad Potion
Dallas Grindcore People Telling Us We Need To Play A Longer Set
That Feel When James LeBrie Say "Carpe Diem, Seize The Day"
Razorbumps Is A Rockabilly Band, Prove Me Wrong
Hey, The Firefly Jayne Replica Hat Stays On During Sex Okay???
Ending Friendships Over Catan Trade Embargoes
I'm Into Cynic And Atheist So You Could Say I'm A Bit Of A Jazz Fan
Rick And Morty Shirts Are The New Fedora
Hot Boxing Your Straightedge Friend With CBD
Only Two Whole Years Until The Next Season Of Venture Bros (This Did Not Age Well)
Writing Off A Six Month Sword-Making Apprenticeship As A "Business Expense" On My Taxes
Listen, Not Every Dumb Ass Statement You Make Has To Be A Song Title, And That's The Song Title
Straightedge Noisecore War Commando
Kommand Was Better When They Were Called Hoax
I Now Play This Card To Retain My Virginity
Mountain Dew Where Is My Sponsorship
Shitposting Songtitles From This Lp On Facebook When I'm On The Clock At Work
Without Hesitation I Will Punish You About How And Why You Should Be Watching Venture Bros
"Walk This Way" Is The Worst Fucking Song
A.M.A.S. (All Men Are Simps)
My Friend Ryan's Mullet
Hell Yeah Bruther
Who's The Bigger Nerds, Us Or Vault Dweller?
Going To Ye Olde Pub Instead Of Watching The Bad Local Metalcore Band
Bald Larry Got License Plates That Say "Senpai"
Dystopia Is Skramz For Crusties
I'm Gonna Whup Varg's Tabletop Rpg Playing Ass
Sitting On The Porch Of House Of Tinnitus, Sippin' On Texas Cold Brew With Texas Mike
8/19/19; The Day Texas Mike Came Home
Cool Beans Let Me Play Cannibal Corpse Over Their P.A.
You Play In A Psych Rock Band (No One Cares About The Stupid Visuals You Have To Accompany Your Boring Music)
Dune Is Better Than Star Wars
The Butt Rock Song
A 12 Gauge Shotgun Full Of Our Lord's Forgiveness
Derik Can Only Harm You If You Know Of Him
Mountain Dew Doesn't Make Your Dick Shrink, I Was Born With A Micropenis
Taking A Mighty Push
Maggot Stomp Got That Pit Viper Sponsorship And That's Too Cool To Rip On
Writing Song Titles At 4:20 Am On Your Day Off Because You're On Some King Shit
Hey 1919 Can I Have My Money Back?
Oh Yes, Piss Off The Warlock
If I Crank The Sharpness And Contrast On My Mediocre Live Concert Photography Everyone Will Love It
Paying Any Amount Of Money For One Of Those Straight Edge Watches Is Fucking Stupid
Getting Asked To Play More "Customer Friendly Music", So I Put Mortiis On
Yes I Am An Admin On Metal Archives, And Yes I Talk To Women
We Shitpost Better Than Cruelster
Someone Once Called Me You Lord Of The Rings Lookin' Ass
Noisecore Is A Better Genre For Straightedge Liberation Than Youth Crew
Who Is This Mans Selling Pornogrind And Polish Extreme Metal Bootleg Tapes To Recycled And Not Me?
Pubic Floss Is My Favorite Ska Band
No Wait, Natural Man Is
I Went To A Noise Show On 9/11 And All I Got Was A Dollar
No You Don't Need A Gun
Tomb Mold Is My New Favorite Hypebeast Streetwear Brand
I'm Really Happy Seth Putnam Is Dead
Its Still Hilarious Josh From Anal Cunt Died Falling Off An Escalator
Tim Morse Got The Shit Kicked Out Of Him
Punks Who Cosplay As Darby Crash In 2020 Are Fucking Stupid
If I Gather All Of Dragon Ball Z On Vhs, Shenron Will Appear To Call Me A Nerd
Derailed Train Full Of Decapitated Oogles
Dumpster Diving For Forbidden Knowledge
I Miss Oil Spill
The Mullet That's Supposed To Save The World
Rest In The Arms Of A Dragon
Death Metal Was A Scam To Sell Longsleeve Shirts
Gun Dudes That Can't Cum Unless Their Wife Named Cindy Is Holding A Glock 7 Gen 3 To Their Bald Spot
Imagine Risking Exposure To Covid-19 To See A Soundcloud Rap Show
Tanking The Success Of My Noise Rock Band By Coming Out In Favor Of Driver's Licenses
The Mans With The Mortician Tramp Stamp Tattoo
Oh God No, Not Another Song Sampling Peter Jackson's Dead Alive
Your Pop Punk Has Breakdowns And Your Browser Is On A Watchlist
None Of Your Gorram Business That I'm Writing A Rutting Noisecore Song About Firefly
Firefly Lasted Longer Than I Do In Bed
Don't Open The Docking Port, You'll Let The Oboe In!!!!!
River Tam Will Kill You With Her Mind
Vhs Collectors Are Chill Ass Bros
The World Would Be A Better Place If Cookout Was A National Chain
You Smell Like You Play In A Grindcore Band
The Ballad Of The Egg Punk Demo Cassette
Simps Pretend To Like Death Metal To Lay Pipe
Your Band Has No Riffs
You Play In A D-Beat Band
Bodybag Darryl
I Was Paid To Take Photos Of An E-Girl, Take That 4chan
Average Time It Takes For People To Stop Caring About An Osdm Worship Band That Came Out On 20 Buck Spin
I, A 45 Year Old Man, Paid $100 To See David Yow Pull Out His Penis, Not To Talk Bad About My President
Amazing How White Drugs Was The Only Good Amrep Band
Remembering When The Drummer Of Skeleton Asked Me If He Should Listen To Obituary
We Bullied Taco Bell Into Bringing Back Potatoes On 311
Ah Yes, Jazz Fusion Covers Of Pokemon Route Themes
Harsh Noise Wall Track Using My Scrapped Brake Shoes
I Don't "Get" Noise Says The Person Who Likes 100 Gecs
Playing Brainbombs At The Function To Weed Out The Weak Friends
Everyone Is "We Love And Support You" Until You Threaten To Castrate Yourself With A Sword Your Friend Found In An Alleyway Next To A Car With A Broken In Windshield
This Song Is Just An Excuse To Sample Firefly
Nice Gatecreeper Shirt You Stupid Fucking Poser
"I Miss Going To Shows" Says The Sad Nerd Who Sat Outside During Every Band Smoking American Spirits
If Your Band Sounds Like American Football, I'm Kicking Your Fucking Ass
I Want To Fight People That Wear Suits In Public
Listening To Shadow Gallery To Experience What Dream Theater Would Be Like If They Had A Bass Player
Slint Is Just Korn But For Nerds
Okay, But What If I Said I've Never Actually Read Lord Of The Rings
Effortless Urination Of Bright Yellow Pee-Pee
We're Destroying The Baby Right?
The Darkest Magik
Yautja Is The Funniest Band In Metal, And The Most Handsome
Paying A Sex Worker To Just Cuddle Me, I'm Lonely
My Fetish Is Watching 30-40 Year Old Guys Imitate Steve Albini On Stage In At A Bar In Dallas, I Cum All The Time
Assigned Cowboy At Birth
All Hail Our Dork Lord And Master!
Beware Of Geeks Bearing Gifts
Ancient...Evil...And Hungry
Wizard Metal By The Numbers
A Harmless Giant From A Foreign Land
Survival Of The Thiccest
Sizzler Buffet For The Sexually Deranged
Yer Gonna Feel My Boot
Meat Mountain, Clogging Toilets And Arteries Everywhere
The Eye Of The Shitstorm
HOT GIRLS WITH SWORDS DOT COM
Muffled Sounds Of Gorilla Violence
Looking At Your Dungeon Tan I Can Tell That You're A Fan Of Mortiis
Yeah, I'd Get The Elf Ear Surgery
Keep The Adidas High Tops Free Of Blood Lest Ye Summon The Eldritch God Kareem Abdul-Jabbar
When The Reply Guys Swarm In
I Saw Rusty From Mental Abortion's Dick In Cabin Fever 2
You Play In An HM2-Core Band
Onlyfans But It's Just Chalrles Knowles Whuppin' My Ass
Thundersnow
Rise And False Grind
A Great Wizard, Ripping A Fat Bowl To Steely Dan
Skinhead But Not By Choice
Hanging Out At The Ren Faire With My Fellow Ugly LARPers
Noisecore For The Instagram Clout
Dark Highwayman, Encountered At Dusk Upon His Steed Named Sempai
Remembering When Sawblade Threatened To Strangle Me When I Was 19
Getting Fired From My Job As A DJ At A Bar For Playing The Traci Lords Loves Noise Reissue On Breathing Problem
I Got Cum All Over My Lone Wolf Audio Maggot Stomp Collab Distortion Pedal T-Shirt So I Ordered Another One
Using The Blood On The Eerified Catacomb Cassette To Make A Clone Of U.E. And Have My Own Pet Hypebeast Nekro Black Metal Machine
Making Fun Of Other Bands To Hide My Rage That No One Likes My Band
Smashing Your Head Into A Master Sword Replica After Laughing At How Stupid A New Infernal Legions Of Mordor Song Is
Having Gorenoise Tapes From Breathing Problem Productions Delivered To My Job
Are You Really Vibing Or Are You Just Giving Off Deadly Levels Of Ionizing Radiation?
We All Have Mustaches Now
Mute The Sword
We're Tall, You Aren't
Oh, Great, Another Band With Parker Lawson Doing Vocals
Temporary Secretary By Paul McCartney Started Egg Punk
We Need More Death Metal Distortion Pedals
Matt, "Peavey", Perrin Has A Gun
I Have A VHS Collection Instead Of A Personality
Kinkshaming Someone For Listening To Brainbombs
A Horsedrawn Carriage Full Of Ass
Buzzword Death Metal
Who Do I Have To Make Fun Of At The Dallas Observer To Finally Get Them To Notice Us?
What Isn't Beneath Tom G. Warrior's Beanie
Going To Tennessee To Finally Beat The Shit Out Of Thrashhard08
Infertile Hails
Avantasia Wrote A Power Ballad About Incest
Pickles Strutting His Noisecore Clout With A Trans Am
How Quickly Will Any Of The Guest Performers On This Regret Being On This Tape?
Giant Ass Sword
The Only Way To Escape The Grip Of Longmont Potion Castle Is Death
This Skullet Is A Poor Attempt To Cover This Red Neck
Qui-Gon Epstein
Deadbeat Disrocker Dad
War Metal Gauntlet With A Rail Of Blow
Who Is This Strange Man Who Entered My Keep With A Garment That Reads "RATLORD"
Anal Cunt Song Titles That Unfortunately Live Rent Free In My Head
Bald Larry Correcting Me About The Avantasia Incest Song
Highest Regarded Opinions Of The Tech Death Guitar Player
Black Metal Finsta
Dr. Alican Koc
Thank Fuck The Nerve In This Tooth Finally Died
Consuming My Slain Enemy's Heart For His Courage, His Brain For His Intelligence, And Eating His Ass
Getting Brain Juices All Over My Livestream Blood Incantation Shirt While Getting A COVID Test
You Play In A Perverse Homage Raw Black Metal Band
There Is A Box In The Back Of My Bedroom Closet With Dollar Signs Drawn All Over It With Nothing But Mark Winter Demos In It
A Trashbag Full Of Blow To Be Delivered To The War Metal Band
We're All Poseurs (Especially You)
Allegiance Formed With Mountain Of Smoke In The Realms Of Meatcraft
Dick Armor
Fully Erect Alchemist
Your Aluminum Guitar Won't Get You Into Heaven Anymore
My Ass Is A Furnace
O Thank Thee, Guardian Of Metal
You Listen To Discharge
A Goblin Swinging A Sack Full Of Quarters
Great Another Smelly Asshole Who Thinks Video Violence Is A Good Movie Telling Me That Hereditary Sucks
Charles Entertainment Knowles, Top Fan
You Play Math Rock (And You Suck At It Too)
You Told Me 'Look Man, I Put Out Records And Tour' But You Still Can't Write A Riff
Getting Targeted Ads For The Thicc AT&T Girl
Razor Girl From Brutal Legend Based Sexual Fantasy
If You’re Looking For Riffs In Contemporary Music And You Listen To Punk, I Have Bad News For You
You Listen To Death Metal (And You Smell Like It Too)
I Got A Friend Request From The Guitarist Of Devourment
You Listen To Opeth
Hanging Out In The Alley Behind J&J's With A Bunch Of Stupid Fucking Metalheads Listening To Celtic Frost
Crust Fund Kids Saying They "Don't Even Like Money!" All The Way To Their Parent's Bank
Having To Wear A Diaper When You Listen To Disembowelment Because You Keep Shitting Yourself
Telling Pantera Fans The South Won't Rise Again
My Wizard Hat, Taking To The Wind, Revealing My Bald Spot To The World
I Have My Very Own Lime Scooter And A Sword, Fear My Whimsy
Hitting The Character Limit On Bandcamp Song Titles
Derik The Hobbit
Imagine, If You Will, Rick Wakeman Wearing A Cape
It Smells Like Loneliness In Here
Explaining Anal Cunt To My Boss
If You Enjoyed Watching The Movie Martyrs, You Are A Bad Person
In Other News I Made A Noise Musician Mad On Twitter
This Isn't An Elf Cosplay, I Just Look Like This
The Only Time Anyone Cares About When You Pick Up An Instrument Is When You're Playing Cover Songs
The Reviews Are In
I Am A Late Game Boss That Is Hinted At For Two Thirds Of The Game That Has A Rare One Of One Loot Drop
Matt "Peavey" Perrin Demands To Be Sponsored
I Can't Believe Sleep Made A Career Off Of Ripping Off Sweet Leaf
Fremen For Vengeance
How Many Of Those Facebook Likes Did Your Band Have To Buy?
Being A Gatekeeper Fucking Rules
Starving For A Thirst Trap
Oh Good, The Blood Funnel
At Night, My Eldritch Supercomputer Crawls Under The Covers For Warmth
Selling My Punk Demos Before The Hype Dies Down And Getting Premium Prices On Discogs
You Listen To Iced Earth
Sometimes I Just Re-Read This List Of Song Titles, Not For Fun, But Because I Have Very Little Going On In My Life
Fancy Delights Ov The Void
Someone Stop Oyabun666 From Listing Every Punk Bandcamp Release on Discogs, No One Cares
Frozen Soul Weightlifting In Eternal Champion Merch
The Eldritch And Horrifying Mating Calls Of The Denizens Of 'Dega
The Lasting Legacy Of The Aughts Punk Band That Put Out a Demo, An EP And Only Played Fests
For Some Fucking Reason, I HAVE To Be THE Most Metal Person At this Estate Sale
Watching The Incel Uprising Tank The Stock Market
Another Song Where We Use Our Favorite Word, Eldritch, In The Title
You Play A PRS
Pounding Beers With The Goblin
Christopher Lee If You Are Out There And Can Hear Me: Please Haunt Me
Keep Your Mage Hand Strong
No One Asked Steven Wilson For Those Remixes
Hypnotized By ANTIFA Temptresses
Deep Within The Eternal Chambers Of The Pizza Dungeon
Unfriending Me On Facebook Won't Make Folk Punk Good
I'm Gonna Fight Froggy Fresh
Another Song To Flex Our Obscure Horror Knowledge By Sampling Bloodsuckers From Outer Space
Punk Goes...Country
It's Always Sunn O))) In Philadelphia
Fear Is The Painkiller
We're Available On I Heart Radio
You Listen To Comfy Synth
Asking The Owner Of Recycled Permission To (Continue To) Haunt Recycled When I Die
Sick Caveman Riffs
I Would Die 1000 Deaths For Texas Michael, Esq
Don't You Hate It When Assholes Break The Magickal Blood Seal
I Spit On Your Graveland
I Am Not Pausing Neil Young To Listen To This
Givin' Them Ghosts A Show
You Play In A Youth Crew Band
True Black Metal
Your Grandma Doesn't Need To Die Because You Couldn't Wait To See Ruptured Goat Anus Gurgle About Sexual Assault
Are You Aware Of The Power Of Shadows?
Keep Your Blade Held Aloft
I Screamed These Vocals Into A Sword
Livin' La Vida Don Vito
Cockblocked By A Self Proclaimed Shaman
You're Bleeding And I'm Tired
You Listen To 80's Yes
We Are Three Hundred And Three Songs In, Take A Break, You've Earned It Weary Traveler, You Are Almost There.
(Where Did) N.T.S.B. Fuckin' Go
Automatically Spawned With Blade In Hand
Townie Punks Fuck Off
Oh Man, Your True Crime And Bondage Themed Power Electronics Bands Must Get You All The Girls Huh Champ?
Anything Is A Musical Instrument If You Tape A Contact Mic To It, Duh
Not To Get Political Or Anything But Absurd Fucking Sucks
Wow, I Really Can't Believe You Have Listened To This Whole Fucking Thing. Whatever Sinks Your Ship
Amber Is The Colour Of My Anime / The Closing Ceremonies
You Will Never Be Top Fan
You Will Never Be Top Fan
Split With Lip Cream (AKA Songs About How Much I Think Cottagecore Is False & Noisecore Is The Truth)
69 Songs
Supplementary Nekro Symphonies Absconded From The Cadaver Of Ildjarn
Crimson Flood Spewing From The Ruptured Acne Vagarous
Ascertain Thineself A Berth With A Duvet Cover, Cease The Playing Of The Emo Phonographs, Then, Perhaps A Female Will Give You Audience, You Fetid Weakling
Foul Enchantress Extracting Seminal Fluids From My Gargantuan Rod For Diabolical Sorcery Conducted In The Abhorrent Crepuscule
False Individuals Claiming To Be Eldritch And Outlandish, Despite Their Output Being Middling At Best
As An Administrator On Encyclopedia Metallum; The Metal Archives, My Very Own Conjecture On The Stylings Of Alternative Music Are Unerring
The Trepidation Concerning My Own Demise At The Metacarpals Of A Fluid Soaked Punchinello
Fred Durst Is An Improved Rebellious Songwriter Than Any Of You Leather Clad Punks
Gamers Sit Down
Nocturnal Emissions Originating In A Carnal Hallucination Enmeshed With Visions Of Matt Berry As The Personification Of Jackie Daytona Slapping My Hams
Blissful Passage From This Macabre Simulation Into The Realm Beyond, Which Is Entirely Populated With Buxom Mistresses Armed With The Most Exceptional Swords
The Fragrance Of The Most Splendid Spaghetti Emanating From The Wretched Taco Bell Excrement Issued From My Bulbous Anus
69 Ways To Ruin Your Life: The Words of the Venerated Texas Mike Pt 2
Bat With A Nail In It
You Can Drive My Truck, Just Don't Touch My Stereo
Revisiting An Old Idea: George W Bush Garfield Drawing
Marco Polo But Instead Of Saying Marco / Polo You Say Scully / Mulder And You Both Close Your Eyes And Run Around In Circles In A Cornfield.
Buy A Motorcycle On Credit
What’s The Deal With Wine??? What’s Wrong With A Nice Can Of Piss??
Brainbombs But Kermit Voice
Seeking Elopement Dot Com
Golden Hour Is The Best Hour To Get Drunk While Pretending To Read A Book By The Window
Life Is A Three Way Switch For Me.
The Settings Are "I Want To Die", "I Want To Do Something Stupid", And "I Feel Like God".
Next To The Switch Is A Gas Pedal And It's Just Duct Taped Down
A Picture Is Worth One Thousand Words But Getty Images Will Only Accept $USD
Sitting Outside The Walmart That Banned Me In My Car, Exile On Main St Blasting, Crying... All These Deals Passing Me
What If I Hit A Couple Dingers
Never Trust A Smiling Cat
Big Fan Of The Irish Goodbye, Sometimes You've Just Gotta Wander Off
Face / Off Porn Parody Called Jerk / Off
Had A Dream I Went To The Jungle To Die
My Job At The Chocolate Factory Is To Contaminate Everything With Nuts
No Matter How Far An Ass May Travel, He Will Not Return Home A Horse! Amen
Mads Mikkelsen Teaches You How To Tie Your Shoes Asmr
New Meme Style: You Print It Out And Take A Photo Of Yourself Holding It. You Become The Meme.
New Yolk
So A Cop's Horse Can Shit In The Street But When I Try To It's All Like "You're Under Arrest And I'm Disgusted With You"??
Wilem Dafoe Mode
Can You Make Me Look Like David Koresh?
My Hair Is So Fucked And Curly Rn I Look Like David Koresh
I Need A Robot To Give Me A Haircut
What If You Also Went To A Barber To Trim Your Pubic Hair
On My Hands And Knees Behind A Running Car Rabidly Huffing The Fumes
Busting In My Camo Pants.
His App Has Got Me In A Trance.
Makes Me Do A Dance.
Look At Me Prance.
I Love Romance.
Take My Payment In Advance.
God I Love The Internet
I Actually Wrote True Detective Season 1, That Other Guy Took It From Me
Life's Hard But I'm Not (I'm Flaccid Rn)
Hell Yeah I'm A Member Of The Iron Workers Union, I Lay Pipe!!
If I Die In A Freak Accident Delete My Drafts
Lifting Dumbbells In Front Of A Banks Front Doors - No One Is Going To Fucking Bank Today
What Do You Mean I'm Under Arrest?? This Is A Heat (1995) Cosplay Outfit!
British Yoda
Waging A War Against My Central Nervous System Today By Lifting Heavy Weights
If You Try To Surprise Me After 8pm I Hope You Like Being Struck With Force
Sun's Going Down So Put On Neil And Put That Fly Fishing Rod Away
Socially Distanced Blowjob
The First Title Is About The Sexuality Of The Free Market.
Wish I Could Just Wear Coveralls All Day And Hangout In A Studio Fucking Around
Leave The Gun, Take The Ravioli
Hot Dog Stand But They Sell Expensive Stationary (No Hot Dogs)
The Doors But They're Polish
Keanu Sex Scene In Cyberpunk Was A Letdown - No Hog Visible.
I'm Sick And I Have A Bad Case Of The Farts
A Penis Is Like A Small T-shirt Cannon
Hey Yeah Can I Get An Xfile?
Jeff Dunham And Ray Romano Hold Guns To Each Others Heads
Official Brainbombs Etsy
Us Soldier Captured By Enemy And Forced To Eat Papa John's Pizza
Proof About The Pyramids If Anyone's Interested In How They Were Built
This Is A Posting Spree And I Will Not Be Stopped
Catholic School Teacher Wearing A Burzum Shirt
I'm In The Yard Listening To Undergang, Smashing Rocks With A Hammer.
I Need Someone To Take Me To The Hospital Asap
I'm Shadowbanned From Krate For Rating An Oasis Album 1 Star
Please Send Gold
This One's For You (Whoever's Reading This): Keep It Up, I Believe In You!
8000 Song EP
8000 Songs
77 Myths Of Venerable Magik
Introduction: Gathering Around The Light Of The Fire As The Unearthly And Benevolent Spirits Of The Forest Join Us In This Magik Night
My Elf Ears Melted In My Car
Ranking Morbid Angel Albums Solely Based Upon Their Cover Art
At The Risk Of Taking A Feminist Stance, I Gotta Say Cemetery Rapist Is A Very Bad Band
Getting Frostbite During The Texas Blizzard Taking Corpsepaint Photos
Don't Tempt Me Frodo!
Awaken Me When The Time Is Appropriate To Listen To Type O Negative
Venom Enema
The Frozen One Awaits
Beefcakes Without Borders
Nothing More Punk Than A Fast, Casual Italian Eatery
The Ancient Spell, Grimly Uttered In The Tongues Of The Old Ones By My Unfortunate Rectum Hours After Eating Spicy Curry
Mamma's Selling A Line 6
Professor Snape, The World's Favorite Incel
The Gate Of No Return
The Noise Gate Of No Return
My Former Life As A Poser
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy
Diesel Boner
Really, How Long Does It Take To Test A Fucking Compression Pedal??
Tormented And Coerced Into Performing A Live Ritual By An Eldritch Forest Spirit, A Pair Of Ghouls And A Weeb
How Can I Be Punk When I Have A Severe Skin Allergy To Nickel
Freebasing Cringe
I Wish My Life Had More Of A Thulean Perspective
Daydreaming Giddily About John Lennon Burning In Hell
Catfishing Viper
Cognitive Ball Therapy
Researching The Legality Of Cannibalism
Entering And Leaving The Garage Waiting For The Random Encounter Peavey To Spawn
Unapproachable Raw Black Metal Legend Purchasing Me Indie Rock Record From My Own City
Cursed To Listen To Untold Hours Of King Crimson In The Lair Of Count Progula
Asking Raw Black Metal Elite, "You Ever Heard Behemoth?"
Buying A Gun From The Drummer Of Savatage
Having A Random Encounter With Lord Wurm In Recycled, To Have Him Babble Something Insane And Give You An S Rank Quest
Nice 12 String Ric You Psych Rock Playing Poser (I Mean This Unironically)
Okay Give Me That Guitar It's Too Cool for You, You Play Psych Rock in 2021
Wolves In The Throne Room Posting Emojis (Wolves In The Throne Room Are A Bunch Of Fucking Nerds, Pt. 2)
Being A Pornogrind Fan Is Cleaning The Cum Out Of The Grooves On Your Meat Shits Records
The Worst Part Of Being An Nsbm Fan (Other Than, Y'Know Being Racist) Is Having To Pretend That Absurd Is A Good Band
Like A Macabre Rail Of Silly String A Footlong Cord Of Turds Rope Descends From My Anus
And On That Day His Forehead Grew Three Times Its Normal Size
Punishing Edm Kids With Neil Young
Becoming A Cocaine Cowboy Because You Don't Know What Else To Do With Yourself Now That Burger Records Is Cancelled
You'll Cowards Won't Even Play In Standard Tuning
Todopoderoso Steals Riffs From Kombat (How DARE They Play An Open E)
Ancient Sword Of The Meth King
I'm Going To Fucking Fight Vincent Gallo, And I Will Win
Successfully Cyberbullied A Child
Save A Tele, Kill Your Local Indie Rocker
Do You Believe In Magick (Spelled With A "K")?
Aerosmith By Choice
Another Wampyric And Elusive Black Metal Project With Dungeon Synth Interludes Just Like The Last Five That I Unloaded My Paycheck On
That Mountain Goats Song About A Death Metal Band Wasn't About Kombat
Jackhammer Dildo
Knowing Very Obscure Metal Bands Makes Me A Desirable Person And Fun To Talk To At Parties
An Onslaught Of Rotting Monkeys
Giving My Album Art The Color Palette Of Black, White And Red So We All Know Its Blasphemy Worship (What The Goat Wasn't Enough Of A Giveaway?)
Wretched Crotchspawn Of A Belligerent Oogle
Larry Is Bald
Cum Ghost
The House That Beef Built
Time To Start Bullying NFT Artists
Critical Race Theory in Power Electronics
A Snake With A Mohawk Eating Its Own Asshole
I Fear My Earthling Neighbors Have Seen Me Feasting Upon Car Batteries
A Group Of Three (3) Or More Peavey Combo Amps Is Commonly Referred To As A "Pawn Shop"
Honor Guard Of Black Kittens Guide Me As I Carry This Pile Of Bones Home
If You Feel Your Rectum Begin To Leak Feel Free To Challenge Me To A Battle Of Intellects On Facebook
Eno-Pilled
Morgan's Song
Morgan's Song
Spells From Deep Below
An Ode To All The Small Creatures Of The Night (And Their Mystic Weapons)
2nd Split In A Year With A Garry Brents Band, Epic
Frozen Soul Left The Damn Air Conditioner On Again
Frozen Soul Left The Damn Air Conditioner On Again
Stop Asking Us To Do This :Alive From Andrew's Tavern June 23rd, 2023:
Gary's March / I Hench For No Man
Sudden And Total Loss Of Shpadoinkle
The Wild And Severe Psychosis Of The Blonde Brother
Sip-Sip-Sipiin' On That Sweet Wine In Charles Brown's Pocket
The Reviews Are In
Listen To Your Albino Sidekick
Murdering Glam Rock Legends
Once In High School I Got Dosed With Psychedelics And I Loved Pizza
Fred Durst Is An Improved Rebellious Songwriter Than Any Of You Leather Clad Punks
Harsh Legions Wall
148 Songs About Getting Lost In The Misty Woods
You Aren't Good Enough: Unreleased Compilation Tracks
Cheese Crimes
Why Yes, My Dick Is Fucking Small
Fuck You Buddy
The Night We Whupped Two Knight's Ass
Rushing To The Defense Of Hypebeast Death Metal Bands
VHSuck My Dick
Introduction; The Season Of The Witch
Bitten By The Sumatran Rat Monkey
Chainsawed Through Your Rotten Jaw
Torn Apart For The Reason Of Reanimation
It's Not Over Until The Bloodsoaked Teenager Says It Is
Alien Force Possessing Farmers To Insatiable Bloodlust
Cooler Full Of Unearthly Abominations Hungry For Flesh
The Eye Is The Window To The Gory Pits Of Hell
Haunted House Strewn With Frat Boy Guts
Resurrection Of The Muldoon Man
Midas Touch Of Rapid Decomposition
Wendigo's Chilli Con Carnival
Shengar's Legion Of The Living Dead
Stop Killing The Dead, The Living Deserve It
Gutted By A T-Rex
Too Healthy To Live
Ripped From The Womb
Great Value Midwestern Zombies
Shetaar Goddess Of Gore And The Night
The Worst Person On Earth
Chained To A Tree And Snot Running Free
Cult Of Gay Cannibals
Psychedelic Brain Slug
Following The Chunks Of A Dying Frat Boy To A Fistfull Of Buckshot
The Horror Nerd Saves The Day
Through The Silver Screen, Mutating Right In Front Of You
Beware Of Posh British Werewolves
Spirits Of The Sand
Cursed Valley Of The Devilwitch
Aligned Deaths, Vengeance From Beyond
Great Value George Romero
Western Showdown, With Vampires And A Truck
Valley Girls At The End Of The World
Crazy German Goresoaked Teenager Pt 1
Crazy German Goresoaked Teenager Pt 2
Ringworm Infested Hillfolk Consumed By A Boar
Surprisingly Tasteful Movie Being Sampled On This EP
Split Up The Middle By Slugman
Condemnation Of The Righteous And Sinners Alike
The Slippery Rich Eat The Poor
From The Future To Murder The Past (Not About The Terminator)
The Wise Words Of The Tobacco Man
Two Ways To Half A Boomer
Nicholas Cage Drug Fueled Fury
Necrophiliac At The Micmac Burial Ground
Where's My Hug At?
The Sample Is The Only Good Part Of This Dogshit Slasher
The Bloodsoaked Girl That Escaped From Patrick Stewart's Brain
The Sign Is Warning You
The Line That Defined Tom Atkins' Career
Snakehand And Its Penchant For The Human Jaw
Mom Can We Stop And Get Evil Dead? No We Have Evil Dead At Home. Evil Dead At Home.
The Ravings Of The Gemini Killer
Reasons To Be Wary Of Goths
Satanic Grandmothers Disembowel Their Worthless Family
There Were Slugs In This Shot Of Malort
Not In Front Of The Mutants!
Shimmering Goo That Eats You!
They Brought Back The Star To Explode
Little Shit Becomes An Assistant Serial Killer
Fleshprison Of Inter Galactic Serial Killer
Aging Beauty Pays The Price Of Pride And Vanity
Melting Chunks Of Hobo
Degenerate Yelling Teenagers
Invasion Of The Body Snatchers Meets The Terminator
Texan, Southern Fried Henry
The Most Obvious Sample From This Alarmingly Horny Movie
Alien Hacked To Pieces By Oscar Award Winning Director
Outro; Return Of The Witch
69 Tabs Of Porn Open On My Crystal Orb
The Ritual Is Underway
Good Boy Versus The Ace Hardware
I REDACTED Robert Dethrage With My Rainbow Painted AR-15
Bald Larry Suggesting We Make A NFT, Fuck Him
John Petrucci Is Confused About The Distinct Lack Of Female Dream Theater Fans
Liking Bolt Thrower Doesn't Automatically Mean I'm A Nerd And Like Warhammer Does It?
You Smell Like Salami
Making An Sov Movie To Finally Be Made Fun Of By Colton From Rm
Slicing A Bigger Asshole With A Scythe
Truck Full Of Bubbas
The Wound Planet Has An Asteroid Belt
If You Meet Danny Conrad, At Tom's Daqueri, He Will Show You Where The Treasure Is
You Have Sideburns
Can I Buy Coffee In Denton, Texas (Ethically)
God I Can't Believe People Are Still Doing The Thing I Don't Like
Aggressive Stargazing
Those Crystals Won't Remove Your Curse, They're Time Travel Crystals
Poisoning A Psychic Vampire
Hank Hill Stole My Sword
You Are A DJ
Goblin Taxidermy
Forbidden Elf Glizzy
So Where Are The Penis Enlargement Crystals?
I Can See That Hot Sauce Senior Didn't Teach You Any Manors
Please Take The Hook Off Before Sex
Seance With An A.I.
Extinction Level Event At Anime Expo
I Threw The Dead Rat At Full Of Hell
Setting The Vibe By Playing Needle Exchange's 2018 Classic, "Kill Them All With Fentanyl"
I Don't Care For The Government But I Do Believe In Mandatory Background Checks For Selling Punks Chorus Pedals
I'm Not A Necrophile, I'm A Necromancer
Matt "Peavey" Perrin Luring You Into His Lair To Feed You Braums And Force You To Watch Shit That Fucks
Ruptured Goat Anus Wants To Do A Split With Us (We're Good)
Please Stop Asking Us To Play Shows
You Play In Deep Ellum
Black Magick: The NSBM Of Wizardry
Encountering A Witch In Winco, Accepting The Crystal Gift And Immediately Shitting Myself
Mountain Dew Caudron
Charles Fucking Knowles II: Shred Season
You Eat At Whataburger
They Say There's Magick In The Air
Asking A Telemarketer If They “Fear Death Yet Also Long For It?”
Hardcore Kids Playing Death Metal
Orb To Ponder In One Hand, Shotgun In The Other
Chekhov's Battle Axe
State Sanctioned Furries
Department Of Defense Spiritual Warrior Contractor
Hey, I Know That We Stole A Disfigured Corpse From The Morgue
Then We Brought It To A Cemetery To Perform A Satanic Ritual On It Beneath The Full Moon
But We're Now In This Abandoned Mansion Where We Found A Satanic Spell Book
So Don't Tell Me You're "Too Creeped Out" To Have Sex Here?
Psychic War Draft Dodger
Ruining Dylan From Full Of Hell's Career By Making Him Guest On Our Tapes
Reanimated Miscarriage The Youth Attack Of Noisecore
Elevator Music For Evil Gnomes
Dad Wanted A Football Stud, He Got A Sorcerer
Bringing My Eight String Guitar On My Date And Playing Meshuggah Riffs Is A Real Panty Dropper
Mom Took My Sword Away
Noisecore Money
You Watch Obscure Horror Movies
Kill A Cop, Better Crops
You've Got No Friends So You Might As Well Start A Dungeon Synth Project
You Keep Asking Trans Siberian Orchestra To Play Savatage Songs
Lloyd Kaufman Made Fun Of Me For Collecting VHS
She Totally Crawled Out Of That New Hole
I Bled On A Keyboard And Fried It
Vampyryc Scyences
You Modify Your Orders At Taco Bell
The Battel Rages On
Ambient Selections
Calm & Ethereal Morning
True Black Metal
Take A Rest
Eno Pilled
Castle Siege
Drone Ov Battel
Gathering Around The Campfire
Details
- Product Type: BOOK
- Barcode: 9781957260259
Delivery and Returns
Delivery Information: We aim to deliver your order as quickly and efficiently as possible. All UK orders are dispatched using Royal Mail 48 Tracked service and the standard delivery times are 2-3 business days. Please note that delivery times for overseas orders will vary depending on your location and the shipping option you choose during checkout.
Shipping Costs: We offer free delivery on all UK orders and free worldwide delivery on orders over £15.
Tracking Your Order: All UK orders are tracked. Once your order is dispatched, you will receive a tracking number via email. You can use this tracking number to monitor the progress of your delivery on the Royal Mail Track and Trace website.
Returns and Exchanges: We want you to be completely satisfied with your purchase. If for any reason you are not happy with your order, you may return it within 28 days of the item being dispatched for a refund or exchange. Please note the following guidelines:
- Items must be returned in their original condition and packaging – items that have been opened or had shrink wrap removed are not eligible for return or refund.
- Make sure to include your order number in the returned package.
How to Initiate a Return: To initiate a return or exchange, please contact our customer service team. The team is available to assist you with any questions or concerns you may have about the process.
Refund Processing: Refunds will be processed as soon as we receive your item back into our warehouse. Replacements are subject to availability and if a replacement is not available, a refund will be issued.
If you have any further questions or need assistance, please don't hesitate to contact our customer service team or check out our FAQ’s. We're here to help ensure your shopping experience is enjoyable and hassle-free. Thank you for choosing Chalkys!